


Whatever You Need

by CleoBane



Category: Jimon - Fandom, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Anger, Angst, Boys In Love, Death, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Jace, supportive Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 01:18:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16316369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleoBane/pseuds/CleoBane
Summary: Jace has a meltdown at the news of his father's death and pushes Simon away.





	Whatever You Need

**Author's Note:**

> I need to work on my summaries.

 

He wasn’t even sure how it all started. Simon had come home from work and all he did was hug him from behind, kissing him at the back of his neck. “Hey babe…”

Jace had been lost in thought and he had been startled when Simon did that and he…just snapped. He pushed him away and snapped at him. “What the hell, Simon?!”

Simon had looked at him warily, his eyes wide behind his glasses. “What? Are you OK?”

“I’m fine. Leave me alone.” Jace had said, pushing past him. He heard Simon snort and mutter something.

“What was that?” he asked, his eyes narrowing. “What did you say to me?” He was angry, spoiling for a fight. He didn’t know why he was doing this, but he was angry. He had been home alone all day, with his thoughts and he needed an outlet.

“I said,” Simon spat, bitterly. “I said; this is typical. This is so you, Jace. You always do this. And frankly, I’m sick of it.”

“Oh yeah?” Jace responded. “You don’t know anything. So shut up.”

“You think that’s a good thing?” Simon walked till he was standing right in front of him. “We’ve been together for what? Two years? And you can proudly say I don’t know anything about you? You are an idiot.”

“If you are so sick of it, why don’t you just go?” Jace snapped. “Nobody’s stopping you. Just leave.”

“Is that what you want?” Simon asked, his voice cracking. Jace looked away from him, not wanting to look at his face.

“Just leave me alone, Simon.” Jace said, walking into their bedroom and slamming the door.

He heard the front door slam shut as Simon stormed out of the apartment. Jace slid against the door until he sat on the hardwood floor.

It was just as well. Simon deserved someone a lot better than him. He didn’t need a dumb, college drop out with a shitload of baggage. Simon deserved someone who was more like him; sweet, kind and had his life figured out. Not someone who was so fucked up in the head.

He heard his phone ring in the kitchen but he ignored it. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

He couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t believe the fucking bastard died.

He died and all he got was a crappy letter.

He hadn’t opened the letter yet. He was just so fucking pissed. He had so much to say to him.

When he heard his father was dying, he had put off going to see him. Even when the man had sent for him. He had ignored him. He hadn’t been ready to see him. He was ashamed to admit to himself that he was still scared of the man.

Now, it was too late.

His dad was dead and he would never get to hear what Jace had to say. He would never know how he had fucked him up so bad that he never trusted another human being.

He should be happy. He should be ecstatic that he was gone. Instead he felt empty and dead inside.

He pressed his hands to his eyes and screamed. Why was he feeling like this? Why was he so fucked up? Why couldn’t he just let it go?

He needed…he needed Simon.

He was 13 when they took him away from Michael Wayland       . Ten years had passed since he last saw his face. He spoke to him a little bit the first few years, but soon he had cut him off. He needed to sever that part of his life in order to move on.

He had hated him so much. Talking to his father had brought up memories of all he had done to him growing up.

Jace reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. It was addressed to J.C. Wayland in a handwriting he didn’t recognize. The doctor had said Michael was too weak in the end. Someone must have written the letter for him.

He opened it with shaky hands. There were three pages in total. Jace scanned the contents of the letter. Michael had started with meaningless chit chat. Apparently, Mayrse and Robert had been telling Michael all about what Jace had been up to. He even knew about Jace dropping out of college. The second page of the letter was him apologizing for the hell he had put him through as a kid:

_I know my apologies mean shit to you but believe me son, I am sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I was so angry and I took it out on you. I could blame the alcohol and I could blame it on anything else, but It was all me. I was a fucked up father and a fucked up person. I don’t expect you to forgive me but just know that I am so sorry for everything._

Jace felt tears roll down his cheeks. Damn it! Why hadn’t he gone to see him? He was his Dad. All he wanted was a way to make amends and Jace refused. He was being a petty coward and he refused to see him.

Now it was too late.

The letter ended with Michael realizing that Jace wasn’t coming to see him. It must have been towards the end.

_I guess you won’t be coming to see me. I know you are still angry and I don’t expect you to forgive me. All I want to say is I love you, Jonathan. I love you and I always will. I’m a sick old man and I hope that you’ll forgive me one day. Don’t turn into a bitter asshole because of me. I’m not worth it._

_I love you, son._

_Love,_

_Dad._

Jace lay on the floor, sobbing. Even in death, Michael Wayland could still fuck him up.

***

He had 18 missed calls, 12 voicemails and 32 texts messages. None of them were from Simon. He ignored them. He needed to talk to Simon.

He needed Simon.

He heard the door to the apartment open. He looked at the time. It was almost midnight. He stood up and made his way to the door.

Simon dropped his keys and looked up as Jace walked into the room. He stood still; looking at Jace warily. “A-Are you OK?”

Jace walked up to Simon and lifted him up in a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Simon wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “Hey, it’s OK. It’s OK.”

They stood like that for a few minutes. “Jace? Could you put me down?”

Jace put him down and sniffed. “I don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave me.”

“Dude, it’ll take more than that to make me leave.” Simon said. “I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“My Dad died.” Jace said dully. Simon sucked in a breath.

“Oh my…” Simon hugged him again. Then led him to the couch. “Are you…? What do you need, baby?”

“Just-Just hold me?” Jace said in a small voice.

Jace lay on the couch; his head on Simon’s chest. Simon kissed the top of his head and hugged him.

He started talking.

First he apologized for being an asshole earlier and then he talked about his dad, how growing up with him was hell. He talked about living with the Lightwoods. He talked about how angry he was with his father and how he cut him out of his life. He talked about the countless calls and messages he ignored from his dad. He told him about the letter, the only thing he had left of his father.

“I’m a horrible person.” Jace croaked. “He was dying and I-I was…I ignored him. And he said he still loved me! How…Why?”

Simon didn’t say anything. He just held him as he rambled and cried. Soon, Jace was silent, his breath hitching as he tried to calm down.

“You aren’t a horrible person, Jace.” Simon said softly. “You’re annoying sometimes and you can be mean, but you aren’t horrible. I wish you trusted me enough to talk about your dad. But I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

Jace sighed shakily, his chest aching. “I-I have to go and see him. T-To make arrangements.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Simon asked.

“But you have…” Jace started to say.

“Jace, it doesn’t matter.” Simon said. “I’ll skip them. I’m here for you.”

“I don’t deserve you.” Jace murmured as he buried his face in Simon’s chest.

“Maybe.” Simon said lightly. “But I’m not going anywhere.”

Jace sat up slightly and kissed Simon. “I love you.” He breathed; pulling away.

“I know.” Simon cupped his cheeks with both hands and kissed him.

 


End file.
